josiah+co. Blog
The Bittersweet Grief of Summer.
Melissa Sulley

There’s a certain grief that comes up with the end of the school year. These bittersweet bookends that are reminiscent of what the season held and what was lost. Some of my children reaching milestones I’ll never witness again, and others who will never reach them at all. It’s another reminder of how intricately woven the grief and joy are. I’ll never escape it. These reminders of all that was lost when my babies died. I’ll never get to see them complete grades, or go to summer camp, or scream and giggle in the pool with their siblings. I’ve been...
Motherhood + Grief
Divorce Grief Miscarriage Awareness Mother's Day Motherhood Parenting after loss Pregnancy + Infant Loss Pregnancy and loss awareness
Melissa Sulley

Mother's Day can be filled with a mixed bag of emotions, especially for those of us stuck in the pits of grief. Some of us have lost children and itty bitty babies, some have lost mothers, many are struggling to become parents at all, and some of us simply cringe at the thought of being ‘celebrated’ when the world around us is falling apart. This day brings up a lot for me. There is a bittersweet dichotomy in parenting living children while holding space for the ones who wait for me in the stars. Add on the layers of...
10 Whole Years.
Grief Miscarriage Miscarriage Awareness Missed Miscarriage Parenting after loss Pregnancy + Infant Loss Support
Melissa Sulley

How do you wish a happy 10th birthday to a baby who never took a breath? When the birth was wrapped in death, and the first hello was also the final goodbye—how do you mark that? It’s been a whole decade since Josiah was birthed into eternal death. Ten years. A full-blown lifetime. And yet this one calendar date—April 18th—drops me right back into that hospital room. Into the sterile stillness. The excruciating silence. The weight of it all still lingers, even now. How do you capture a life barely lived? A baby who only ever existed within me—held in...
Rediscovering Yourself After Loss: The Power of Deconstruction
Deconstruction Divorce faith Grief Loss Miscarriage
Melissa Sulley

Grief has a way of unearthing the deepest parts of us. It shakes the foundation of who we are, leaving us questioning everything we thought we knew. For many of us, the journey of rediscovery begins with deconstruction – a powerful process of unlearning, reevaluating, and rebuilding. If you’re navigating grief and identity shifts, this could be the path to reclaiming your authentic self. What is Deconstruction? Deconstruction is the process of critically examining beliefs, values, and systems that once shaped your identity. While it’s often associated with faith, it can apply to any area of life. After a loss,...
The Grief of My Wretched Fertility Journey
Grief Loss Miscarriage Miscarriage Awareness Missed Miscarriage Parenting after loss
Melissa Sulley

Yesterday she told me she wants me to have another baby. And my heart nearly broke open. Even though that chapter is so far behind me, it still stings like hell. The grief of my wretched fertility journey still lingers on the surface. The subtle reminders of all it took to get here, and all that I lost along the way. There's this odd duality to it all. Being grateful for where I am, yet this unnamable emotion attached to the deep pain experienced along the way. It's not hatred, or anger, or bitterness, because the pain is so attached to the joy. And without the pain of what...